|Married With Fishsticks|
|Series:||Xena: Warrior Princess (1995)|
|Broadcast:||10 May 1999|
|Previous Story:||Amphipolis Under Siege|
|Following Story:||Life Blood|
Gabrielle finds she has little patience with a crying baby. She seems a wee bit jealous when Xena can immediately console Eve, but hey, she's the mom. Joxer shows up with baby back ribs to feed Eve, who, Gabrielle points out, has no teeth. Gabrielle and Joxer leave to do something.
Aphrodite and Discord have words because Aphrodite has made one of Discord's favorite bad pirate guys fall in love and smell flowers. They start throwing fireballs at each other. Gabrielle and Joxer walk onto a dock in the midst of the fireballs. They exchange barbs, and show themselves to Gabrielle and Joxer. They start tossing fireballs again. One of them goes astray and knocks something into something else and Gabrielle falls into the water.
While in the water, Gabrielle has a dream. She dreams she wakes up with amnesia. She also is a mermaid when she's in the water. She has legs when she's on dry land. She is married to a man named Hagar (Joxer), and they have three children. One looks to be about 12 and is a cross between a seal, flipper, and the Planet of the Apes. Another, named Urchin, is about 9 and looks like a fishy porcupine. The third is a little squid or something. Hagar gives Gabrielle some elixir and tells her she'll feel better soon. Later he answers the door and two bimbo women, aka Aphrodite and Discord, show up with more elixir. The elixir is to keep Gabrielle (now called Crustacea) amnesiac because she is an exact double of Hagar's real wife who walked out him. Hagar is running for President and needs a mother for his children.
Crustacea bumbles about and the children terrorize her (which includes hanging her upside down a lot) and the two women pretend to be her friends and take her to The Club. They try to talk Crustacea into leaving Hagar because they want him, but Crustacea says she should stay and try to straighten out the kids. Crustacea finally gets her act together and makes the kids shape up. She also makes Hagar shape up and tells him that keeping his house clean is no easy task. At the Club again, the two "friends" dupe Crustacea into falling into the pool, where an evil octopus lies in wait, and Crustacea kills the octopus to much applause from the onlooking Club visitors. She returns home to Hagar, to find he has fixed hamburgers and is trying to please her. He takes her to the coral gardens and proposes marriage to her again. They decide to renew their vows at the Club. The two "friends" have stopped giving Hagar the elixir, however, and while Crustacea and Hagar are starting to exchange vows, Crustacea sees an ornament that looks like Xena's new chakram. She begins to remember Xena. Finally she sees Xena call her name, and realizes she is not Crustacea, she is Gabrielle. The two "friends" want Hagar to marry one of them, and they get into a fight, and then they get into a fight with Gabrielle, who beats them both up. Then Gabrielle tells the children goodbye, and tells Hagar to go find his wife and make up with her.
Gabrielle, back in the real world, wakes to find Joxer giving her mouth-to-mouth, he having pulled her from the deep blue sea and saved her life. She punches him out for kissing her. Aphrodite says Gabrielle was out for about a minute. Xena comes up with Eve and asks Gabrielle if there is something she wants to tell her. Then Eve cries, and Gabrielle says "let me hold her". Xena looks skeptical, then asks Gabrielle if she is okay. Gabrielle says she's better than ever. She holds Eve and Eve stops crying as Gabrielle begins to tell the baby a new story. They walk off, Gabrielle still wearing the pearl wedding ring, with Joxer trailing behind.