Fins, Femmes and Gems
Series: Xena: Warrior Princess (1995)
Season: Three
Story Number: 064
Writer: Adam Armus

Kay Foster

Director: Josh Becker
Broadcast: 11 April 1998
Previous Story: Forget Me Not
Following Story: Tsunami

Synopsis Edit

This scene opens with Aphrodite in one of her temples, checking out the gifts left her by worshipers. A warlord who has stolen the "mystic diamond" enters, and the Goddess of Love tells him to take it to a priest, who will send it into the heavens at the appropriate time so that Aphrodite's place amongst the stars will be assured (or something like that). Xena is after the warlord, though, because the mystic diamond keeps the North Star shining, and without the star all the travelers will be lost. Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer enter the temple after the warlord leaves, and they begin searching the temple for the diamond. Aphrodite has created a perfume she calls "Obsession" which makes a person desire whatever they're looking at when she blows it in his or her face. She puffs at Joxer, who is looking at a story about an ape man, then at Gabrielle, who is glancing at her reflection in the mirror, and then gives Xena a double dose just as she picks up a fish left at the altar as a sacrifice.

So Xena decides they should go fishing. She takes them all to a beautiful lake where she fished with Lyceus (her brother) as a young girl. Gabrielle thinks the lake is almost as beautiful as her own self. Joxer grunts a lot. Xena throws her chakram into a canyon to cause an avalanche so that the warlord will have to detour around the lake to get to the priest. She then dives in the water and catches fish with her hand, by punching them in the nose. She tells Gabrielle to join her. "She wants me to fist a fish?" the sidekick says in bewilderment. Gabrielle looks at her reflection in the water, and, finding it irresistible, decides to kiss it. She falls in and nearly drowns, but Xena saves her.

Xena remembers that she and her brother were constantly trying to catch a legendary big fish in this pond. She rigs up a flying parchment contraption to catch the fish, and uses some of Gabrielle's overly-gorgeous hair as a fly on her hook. Joxer then grabs Gabrielle and they swing through the trees. Xena follows and rescues Gabrielle from Joxer. The two women return to fishing with the kite. Xena doesn't want to leave her chore, so she tells Gabrielle that since she is so beautiful she should possess the mystic diamond, which is the most beautiful rock on earth. Gabrielle then goes to get the diamond and beats up three men in the process; however, they chase her. Xena continues to fish (whistling her theme song as she works) and tells Joxer how to rescue Gabrielle. Finally the men chase Gabrielle and Joxer to the shore, and Xena beats them up. She loses the fish in the process.

Xena then sets up a contraption to send the diamond skyward, but it will also be bait for the fish at the same time. When she cuts the rope, the fish jumps from the water and goes with the diamond up into the northern sky. Xena says that she dedicates the fish and the diamond to Lyceus, and when she has this "insight" that she felt she owed her brother something, the obsession spell is broken. She talks to Gabrielle, and Gabrielle has an "insight" that she doesn't want to be just a non-recognized sidekick. Her obsession is broken and Xena promises to give her more credit. They make camp, and see that the milky way around the North Star looks like a big fish. Joxer remains a monkey man; Xena says she'll fix him in the morning, giving the two women yet another hearty laugh at poor Joxer's expense.

Memorable quotes Edit

Cast Edit

Background information and notes Edit

  • The working title of this episode was Fish Schticks.

Continuity and mistakes Edit

Disclaimer Edit

  • Joxer's dignity was slightly harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Gabrielle's pink nightie was restored to it's original condition.